We're facebook friends in real life
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
