belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
