you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
