my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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