Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
