If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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