I got chris browned last night
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
