So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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