why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
