honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
