can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
