Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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