it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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