Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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