i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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