What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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