"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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