Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
