so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
