Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's never too late to be topless.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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