Sry I called you an 8
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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