So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
