Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
