my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
