where am i from again
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
