Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
