Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
