Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
