I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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