...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
