Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
