so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
