ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
