He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
