i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
