I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
