no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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