I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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