I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
someone owes me an orgasm
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
