We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Found the puke drawer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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