I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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