He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
