Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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