hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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