I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
