even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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