My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
