Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
