I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
