Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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