Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
