Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
