I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
