Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
