hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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