DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize