We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
