After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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