For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
