The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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