i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
