dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
