this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
