We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Are we still banned from the library?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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