I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
