The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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