And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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