I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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