trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
