Your face is a jimmy john
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
