maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
