Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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