i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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